The charcoal fire glowed
as it threw its warmth 
against the crisp cold 
of the early dawn.  
It glowed a deep gold-red 
radiating out 
yet drawing Peter’s eyes in, 
sucking them in 
consuming them 
and filling them 
with tumultuous memories.
Staring deeply 
into the embers 
Peter tried to trace 
the events of the night.  
It seemed only moments ago 
that the other disciple
had brought him inside.  
The woman 
who had barred his way 
asked as he passed by, 
“You are not also 
one of this man’s disciples, 
are you?”  
The red glow of the fire 
hid Peter’s shame 
as he recalled the question 
and his answer.  
How quickly was he ready 
to deny his friend, his master?  
“I am not.”  
He had replied.
“I am not.”  
How could I not?  
Peter thought
As his mind drifted back 
to the day 
that Andrew had come to him 
so excited, 
“I have found the Messiah, 
come and see?”  
Of course Peter had followed.  
Back then he was known as Simon 
but in that first encounter 
something strange occurred.  
Jesus had looked at Simon 
and said, 
“You are Simon Son of John.  
You are to be called 
Cephas, 
which means Peter.”  
Simon had known 
in this moment 
that Jesus in some strange way 
had chosen him.  
No longer Simon but Peter 
he had followed Jesus 
and he had followed so closely.  
Days of walking 
through the countryside, 
from village to village.  
Teaching, 
healing, 
baptising, 
trying to make sense 
of the Master’s words and actions.  
The confrontations 
with the Pharisees and Scribes always there, 
a danger to everyone.  
Peter had thought 
he would have followed Jesus anywhere, 
but the glowing embers spoke of his betrayal.
It was good 
that he was alone now 
with his shame.  
After the other disciple 
had convinced the woman to let him in 
he had stood by the fire 
with some of police and a few slaves, 
waiting, waiting
not really knowing what for, 
just 
waiting.  
The others had been speaking among themselves 
and then one noticed Peter’s presence 
and stared long and hard.  
“You are no also one of his disciples 
are you?”  
“I am not.”  
The lie came so easily.  
“I am not.”  
Peter’s mind drifted back 
into the charcoal dreaming.  
It was only hours ago 
that they had reclined around the table 
sharing the meal together.
Jesus was teaching them as always.  Then 
in a moment of perversity 
Jesus had shed his cloak 
and taken a bowl and water 
to wash the disciples’ feet.  
Only the lowest slave would have been asked to do such a thing.  
Peter had thought he had gone mad 
and seeing his Master tried to refuse.  
But Jesus had told him 
that he did not understand.  
How often had he not understood what Jesus was up to?  
“You do not know what I am doing, 
but later you will understand.”  
Still, Peter tried to deny Jesus, 
“You will never wash my feet.”   He had asserted.  
Then those words,  
“Unless I wash you, you have no share with me.”  
“Unless I wash you, you have no share with me.”  
Peter recalled his response, 
was he pushing the point, 
“well what about my hands and my head.”  
Peter had not understood 
and his words had betrayed him again. 
Jesus rebuked him, then
“You are clean but not all of you.”  
Would Peter ever understand?  
Peter had travelled with Jesus so far 
and for so long and still he was confounded.  
The night had been full of confusion.  
Voices, 
voices in the dark.  
Then burning torches 
and soldiers 
and priests 
and Judas.  
People milling and pushing
In the flickering light.  
“Whom are you looking for?”  
Jesus words had rung like a command.  
“Jesus of Nazareth.”  
They had said.  
There was no denial 
just those simple words 
“I am he.”  
Silence had descended on the crowd, 
many fell to their knees. 
“Whom are you looking for?” 
Jesus asked again 
and again the words, “Jesus of Nazareth.”  
Peter had thought 
surely that was Judas beside him, 
he will do something.  
But Jesus confirmed his identity a second time, 
“I have told you that I am he.  
So if you are looking for me let these others go.”  
Peter’s mind had raced 
and fear and dread overtook him.  
Peter knew he had to do something 
they were going to take him away.  
They were going to take Jesus.
In Peter’s mind he replayed the scene again and again.  
It was as if someone else had drawn the sword 
As if someone else had lashed out.  
Blood had splattered 
and then poured freely from where the slave’s ear had been.  
Malchus: he was only a slave, 
why him, he was innocent.  
The blood seeped into Peter’s vision 
and mingled with the glow of coals in the fire.
Peter shut his eyes against the red condemning light.  
But through the darkness 
he could still see the face of Malchus’ cousin at the fire. 
“You are no also one of his disciples are you?”  
“I am not.”
“I am not.”  “I am not.” “I am not.”  
Thrice condemned the cock had crowed 
and the words had coming flooding back.  
“Lord, why can I not follow you now?  
I will lay down my life for you.”  
Jesus words were fulfilled
“Will you lay down your life for me?  
Very truly, I tell you, 
before the cock crows, 
you will have denied me three times.”
“I am not.”  “I am not.” “I am not.”  
Thrice denied, thrice condemned.  
The red glow of goals could not warm the cold in Peter’s heart
And still the memories came.  
He had heard Jesus 
that day when the Greeks had come seeking Jesus.  
Andrew and Philip had come with a message 
these Greeks want to see you 
Jesus had started speaking of his death.  
On that day he had said, 
“Whoever serves me must follow me, 
and where I am, 
there will my servant be also.”
Peter’s mind raced.  
They had all failed him, 
each and everyone one. 
He had failed him. 
Jesus was alone now.  
No friends to comfort, 
no disciples to share the pain.  
Alone 
Jesus was being tortured 
and all of those words that Jesus had spoken 
were beginning to fall into place.  
Jesus was to be put to death.  
Betrayed and deserted 
by even his closest followers.  
There was nothing to be done now, 
just mourn.  
The red coals, 
The deep blood red coals 
screamed of Jesus fate.  
More blood would be spilled on this day.  
Peter wondered what it all meant.  
There was little sense in anything any more.  
Numb and confused, 
condemned by his denial, 
Peter rose and walked away 
aimlessly, hopelessly 
away from the dying coals.
Silence
In the days to come 
Peter’s eyes would be opened again 
as Jesus drew him back in.
Forgiven, restored, renewed  
Thrice Peter had denied his Lord, 
Thrice he had hidden
Yet thrice on a beach 
Jesus would ask his friend 
do you love me, 
and Peter would once again 
bask in the warmth of Jesus love and say, 
“Master, you know that I do.”
“Master, you know that I do.”
“Master, you know that I do.”
By Peter Lockhart.  
You are welcome to use this as a worship resource.
 
 
This is fantastic. How do you write such an amazing piece? Well done...
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